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I can't breath


I cant breath. I cant stand it I cant see please just let it go. Let it leave your body like a flow. Of water. Let it flow. Just please. Let me go. From you hearts grasp. Im over you. I need my life back
 I cant continue livin the past.
Please go from me now. Just get away. I don’t know why. You think I’d stay. I don’t know why you think i love you. I don’t think I do. I never showed it as much as you. I never told you that I do.
 I was always trying to get away. To leave. To be free. To live freely one day. That never happened until I stood firm. Told you how you treated me and left you hurt.
I know you are fine now. I know your okay. But listen girl. Stay away, from me. Stay away from my heart. You had your chance and screwed it up. Its not my fault just give it up. Im done with you you know this now. I sailed right through your little world. I know it hurt  you but I don’t care. What I gave you never mattered there. It didn’t exist it didn’t persist in keeping you happy in your little world. Why did you use your little girl to get what you wanted out of me.  You know im a softy. You knew I loved that girl. You knew it and you thought it through.
 Saw it best in your eyes to use me. Abuse me. Tell me you didn’t want to lose me. For your daughters sake.  You knew I couldn’t break her heart cause I loved her more and more by the hour.  It made my stomach sour when she cried it felt like I had died inside. I couldn’t stand it I bonded and it was too late for that love to change between me and that little thing you claim as you daughter. I saw her as my own and tried to let her know that her life was going to be okay. She listened when I told her. That she would grow older and be someone other than you. I let her know that the way you live is not the way she should go. I told her to apply herself in everything and she would succeed.  Those times I played with her those times we laughed those times I held her in my lap when she was hurt from your crap. Those times I will not forget. I will let go from me. I cannot cause eventually she will come and find me. And that little girl will want to leave your world and grow to be that girl that I told her to be. And she will thank me for getting her free from you just like me.
 I didn’t talk to family. I didn’t talk to friends all I did was listen to you. To keep that little girl ‘in my hands’. In the end I gave up. I quit. It didn’t matter. I knew this. . My pain. My sorrows. Could never make you happy. The only thing you wanted was something that didn’t exist. The impossible. The improbable. The perfect man with the perfect kiss. That guy with the money and all of this. Well guess what girl  it doesn’t exist. It never has and never will so just move from thisn dream that you have in your head this scheme of getting that man. Just leave it behind you. Its best if you do. so listen up. im going to give to you. The best advice. You will ever hear. In you life. This is the one and only time. From this point on. That I will ever. Be nice to a single mom. Who uses her child against any guy. To get what she wants even if it means for him to die. In sacrifice or pain or strife. That he took on from her own life. Heres the advice one time only. The thing you need to do. Is get rid of this dream. This ‘perfect man’ and this perfect scheme. Of yours that you have. Locked away in your head. Just let it go. And settle for less. Usually that’s not.  What is best. But for you girl. That’s the only thing that could ever address this issue you have of getting the best. It’s the only solution to your confusion the only exception for this situation the best direction is to leave the frustration of this dream that you cant find. Behind. Please. Don’t make anyone else go through this again. I did it and didn’t want to. It’s the worst thing that ever happened to me. Just leave it behind girl let it go. Im not saying it anymore. let it go. Let it go.  Just Let it go. Please. Let it go. 

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